To Catch a ...WHAT..Chris Hansen

He does this blog entry with his tongue, ya what he’s got left of it, planted firmly in his cheek.
Ok I might not be the most internet savvy guy around, but the other day I thought I’d innocently order a bunch of “Kinder Surprise” over the internet, for the family kids when they come to visit. The very next day I came home and low and behold there was Chis Hansen from NBC sitting at my kitchen table asking me to ..”Take a seat over there”....lol
If this happens to you I’ve come up with some excuses that you can say and do that will never make onto tv. If you ever come face to face with Chris Hansen in your kitchen...

1. Dance into the room naked, show him your resume and credits and say...”I’m an out of work Actor, and this is the only way I can get National coverage.” Then break into song.

2. Tell him you knew a TV show was going to burst in, but you thought you were helping with the show “To Catch a Teenage Whore”.

3. Come out with your own film crew and tell him that he’s on the new show, “To Catch a Newsman, who’s given up on REAL Journalism”

4. Come out with your underfed pet Bengal Tiger and say...Chris looks like you’ve got a choice...Play a nice game of “Sigfield and Roy” or if you really want to catch a predator...go head”

I may joke about a very serious problem but I really think we should leave it up to our fine men and women in blue and not have it plastered all over prime time television. We should do everything in our power to help the police do their jobs in catching these predators. Let Chris Hansen get out of gutter reality television and go back to giving us the facts on some serious news stories. He could come up with a new show like “To Catch an AIG Executive” or something. Chris Hansen...”Get off My Lawn”. Don't miss the Greatest Chris Hansen Lines ... The Hansen Soundboard

Thanks for reading this comedy bit
Bryan Cox- Voice Actor and Stand-Up
bigbry@sasktel.net


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TV's Ass Kickin'

What’s going on with TV...now a days it seems that the networks will use any excuse stick on a rerun, Christmas, Easter, My mother is in the Bathroom...whatever. They think the viewers are doing something else and won’t watch the shows. Advertising revenue is down on all networks. One of the many reasons is, from an advertisers stand point, they don’t want to advertise on a rerun show that no one will watch. Reality Check...make more NEW episodes. How to fix the problem,

1. The regular working TV season is 13 weeks...expand that to 25 weeks of new episodes. The whole industry works more. More people tivo and watch because of new episodes. More viewers=more advertising!

2. Each network should have their own rerun channel. Not for the really old shows but all the stuff from the beginning of the season and even last season. They are starting to use the Internet for this right now.

3. A 2 Tier pricing system for Advertising...you can buy the rerun channel at one price or you could buy the main network channels at a premium price. Cause as you all know, more people watch new shows and episodes rather than reruns.

I really just touched the tip of the Iceberg here. It all comes down to making more money. These days you have to think outside of the box or it’ll become a coffin. You have to work harder... and smarter. Please feel free to leave a comment and or contact me...
Thanks for your time and the read.
Bryan Cox


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You've Worked in Radio To Long IF...

Thanks to my hard working radio buddy Darren James for this...JUST TO FUNNY


You know you've been in radio too long if ...

You were first hired by a GM who actually worked in radio before becoming GM.

You excitedly turn the radio up at the sound of "dead air" on the competitor's station.

Sales guys wore Old Spice to cover the smell of liquor.

You were playing Elvis' number one hits when he was alive.

You worked for only ONE station, and you could name the guy who owned it.

You remember when normal people listened to AM radio, and only "hippies" listened to FM.

Radio stations used to have enough on-air talent to field a baseball team every summer.

You're at least 10 years older than the last two PD's who fired you.

You used to smoke in the studio's and control room, and nobody cared.

You know the difference between good reel-to-reel tape and cheap reel-to-reel tape.

You have a white wax pencil, a razor blade, and a spool of 3M splicing tape in your desk drawer.

You can start a record, run down the hall to the toilet, and be back in 2:50 for the segue.

You knew exactly where to put the tone on the end of a carted song.

You only did "make-goods" if the client complained. Otherwise, who cares?

Sixty percent of your wardrobe has a station logo on it.

You always had a screwdriver in the studio so you could take a fouled-up cartridge apart at a moment's notice.

Agents were people like Maxwell Smart, James Bond and the Man From Uncle.

You answer your home phone with the station call letters.

You used to fight with the news guy over air-time. After all, what was more important:
the dumb joke about your ex-wife, or that tornado warning?

You still have nightmares of a song running out and not being able to find the control room door.

You run a phone contest and nobody called, so you made up a name and gave the tickets to your cousin.
Thanks for the read
Bryan Cox


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GANGS vs POLITICIANS..a Comic View

Allot say that Gangs are ruling the country, weather it be the US or Canada. Asian, Mexican, Mafia, Black, Motorcycle, what ever. With my tongue planted firmly in my cheek, I’m going to look at gangs for a sec here because here in Canada we have new anti-gang laws going into place. This might fit any where in the World though.
Look up the definition of word “Gang” and you come up with
(1) are generally perceived as a distinct aggregation by others in their neighborhood...translation...a bunch of guys that always hang out together.
(2) recognise themselves as a denotable group (almost invariably with a group name);...translation....a bunch of guys that have a name for their group.
(3) have been involved in a sufficient number of incidents to call forth a consistent negative response from neighbourhood residents and/or law enforcement agencies.....translation...if the people around you and the cops don’t like what your doing...you’re in a gang. Another definition is...A gang is a group of people who through the organisation, formation, and establishment of an assemblage share a common identity....
There is a massive comparison screaming to be made here. The definition of a gang compared to Political parties or politicians.
-Gangs...have a name tattooed on their body or embroidered on the back of there jacket. Political Parties have a name too usually with some sort of symbol.
-Gangs have to vote you in through some sort of initiation. You can join a political Party but to become a politician...you have to go through an election as kind of a initiation.
-Gangs break the law...some politicians and parties break the law too. (Taxes, Bribes etc.)
-Gangs sell bad drugs, Politicians run the health care system and buy and sell good drugs.
-Gangs unfairly extort money from good people, politicians unfairly tax good people.
-Gangs do things and act in a way that most people don’t like, Political Parties and Politicians do things and act in a way that more people don’t like.
-Gangs hold conventions, Political Parties hold conventions
-Gangs gather at a club house, Politicians gather at the Hill.
Well this list could go on forever, but you get the idea. I’m not in favour of gangs, except for the ones that use to beat me up in the school yard...hey you guys are still cool...nudgen nudge, wink, wink!! But as we grow past those gangs we learn to take the punches from a whole new legal gang. Now more than ever we are all relying on the gang we elected to help us and show us a light on the other side of the school yard. I can only hope that you and your family stay and work together through these terrible times. The Gang we elected can’t give us all the answers, some of those have to come from deep down inside you.

PS ... I hope some lawyer doesn't use this in some kind of twisted defence. Please feel free to add any more comparisons that you might think of.
Thanks for the read and comments are always welcome.
Bryan Cox



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